Its been a year…

Its been just over a year since I left the house.
When making life decisions, do you ask yourself “how will I look back on this decision in a year… in five?”

I asked myself that question in deciding to leave.

Well, I certainly have regrets about the details but overall, I am certainly glad I did it. No, I am not happy that my kids are hurting but I know in the end, it is better for everyone.

A year later and the big house is sold, going to closing soon. The new house for the ex and the girls is in contract and will close soon. My finances after that will improve significantly which represents the last important part of my transformation.

Divorce? Mediation? While certainly on the list to get done, life is better when I can actually afford my life.

I am obsessed with money you see. Not because I am greedy or want material things but because without it, we can’t survive. I can’t work on other things until its done. Its like the ‘security’ aspect of ‘Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs’. Once security is met you can work on other things on the path to ‘full-actualization’ (whatever that really means).

I often think I shouldn’t have worried so much about money. After all, what it really did was create more stress for me and for my ex. I am hoping that it at least reduce the amount of spending. At the end of the day, we had enough equity in the first house to pay off debt and get the new house with a reasonable mortgage. If I didn’t stress about money, would the new house be possible? Who knows.

Anyway… things are slowly getting better and I am hopeful. That in itself is reason to celebrate.

Be well.