That’s how long I have before I leave to see the kids. They are both in a play at school tonight and I asked my ‘x’ if I could come over early to spend some time with them. Things are different lately/now. The ‘x’ wants to keep her distance as she realizes that I am not coming back. She is looking to protect herself and I understand… and feel bad.
What little time I have with the kids is a bit stressed. Though they have had daily 30 minute time limits on their various Apple devices, I think that’s out the window cause I can’t get them away from them. Its hard to talk to them, its hard to get quality time. I try to get these devices from them without looking like the bad guy… its a skill I am working on. For now I look to distract them with whatever activity I can engage them with.
So I sit here waiting for what is now 30 minutes before I leave. I am stressed out about seeing them. I immediately get stressed when I see a call or text from them. I am not sure why. I want to see them, they want to see me. My 10 year old is coming over for a slumber party tomorrow night, my younger one wants to stay home with mom. That’s ok, it will get better in time.
Logically I understand. This is still new, they are upset and frustrated that I am not in the house anymore and they want things back to the way they were. Luckily (sarcasm) this is not a logical thing, its emotional. Its gonna take time…. just got to keep my eye on the ball… hopefully time heals.
15 minutes left and I just have to put on a energetic, positive vibe and get going.
Wish me luck. It might be a long night.